Jac woke me up early in the morning,
like 5.45am, just to question me
if I actually went into her friendster acc.
So I admitted and said yes.
I know I was wrong to have gone into her account
to actually view people.
Amazingly, I didn't even view Chris's profile,
instead I went to view Jessie and Berenice's profile,
both her exs.
Haha.
I can't help it, now she instills such a habit in me.
To be like her and act like her.
Honestly, it can be quite sickening,
I kinda feel disgusted being this way,
but oh well.
If she can do that, why can't I right?

She just refuses to let me sleep and
keeps demanding that we settle everything
on the spt.
Sometimes I feel she's just too much to handle,
just like a kid who never understands and will never
grow up.
Bleahz. :/

Then on the way to work,
I felt so restless,
but I bought alot of food for breakfast
and lunch.
Haha, I'm such a junkie!
When I reached office,
I was shocked to see a new person,
that was when I realised she was to
take over Daniel's place.
So sad, Daniel's leaving soo,
coz his lil girl has just been born.
It's such a joyous occassion to have
a newborn in the house,
a precious life given by the Lord.
I simply love children. =)

work was piling today.
I can murder myself,
I dozed off once while doing my work.
It's crap.
Feel like a lot of expectations from me.
Sad.
Vikki wore glasses today to work.
Not bad, but she looked really tired,
like no energy and all.
-shrugs-
May is so unpredictable.
Haha.

The new girl, Pei Ling was nice,
but she didn't familiarise with the office customs.
Lucky there were kind souls to guide her.

I did OT today.
=(
Till 7.30pm.
How hardworking can I be?

My mum called me to ask if I wanted dinner,
but she didn't talk to me nicely,
like she was temperemental and all,
couldn't stand.
Told her no need,
the she just said bye! in such a harsh tone
and hung up the phone.
so irritating. :/

As I travelled home,
I realised that ever since I decided to get back with Jac,
I've lost completely everything.
My friends,
my ex-love,
my sister.
I feel so abandoned, so left out,
so VERY LONELY.
I hate this feeling,
but what can I do?
I chose this path, so I'll just bite the rope
and continue till it's time to let go.

Would anyone help me?
I need an answer.

I want a getaway, probably to New Zealand,
probably with you?
I hope.

- I wish to see you again.
Let me tell you,
how much I miss you
and how sorry I am,
for being so heartless. (

* I'm just an empty shell.