Alot has been happening.
Some of which are good,
but most of which are bad.

I lost my job.
I got terminated.
It's so unbelievable, I tried working hard
all these while to prove my worth to the
company that I would be able to advance,
just coz of those few days that I was absent
due to ah ma's wake and the fact that Jac had
to come back and settle the relationship with me.
I don't fault anyone for what had happened to me,
it's just maybe my company does not appreciate
me much.
It's their loss, this is the only way I can console myself.

Spent alot of time with baby these days,
I feel glad and carefree when baby's around.
Having said, we had loads of quality time,
eating, playing viwawa, sleeping and of
course hanging out with Maureen.
Haha, it was all fun and I felt really
safe in baby's embrace.
I wish I could be like this just like before
and forever.
But I've realised that I kinda grew up
and that I'm not who I am anymore.

There's this burning feeling that I have now,
when I see baby.
I don't know how to go about deciphering it.
Baby feels insecure and afraid that he'd
lose me again and I don't blame him for
feeling this way, it has been tough on him,
trying to hide all that he's been feeling.
I told him I won't leave him again,
it was a sign that we got reunited and
it's for a reason.
I love baby, I know that,
but I don't know if it's enough for him
anymore.
when I look at him these days,
I just feel that he does not recognise me anymore
and that's very sad.

Baby didn't wanna kiss me goodbye when I kissed
him goodbye just now.
Sigh.
I just wanted a kiss from him to make sure that
everything was okay,
but yet, there wasn't any.
I was pretty much affected by it,
heart feeling so sore, but no tears
coming out.
I guess I'm just too tired.
I just wanna love baby whole-heartedly now.
Hope he understands my intentions.

Jac called just now and said she was going
to Canada for a week for holidays,
I told her to enjoy herself and take care,
then she called me back and told me that she
was just kidding.
She will be permanantly in Singapore and
to keep in contact soon.
So I said that she was an asshole to have played
such a joke.
*growls*
We may have ended off quite harshly,
but I still hope that she'd be happy and all
the best to her.

* I love you and I want you to know that.