I called you,
I heard your voice,
you don't know how happy I was.

Just by hearing you say hello
and me just keeping quiet on the other line.
How I wish I could say it's me
and that I miss you so very much.

But I can't coz I'm still attached to Jac.
I'm not treating you as a toy.
You never were.
you've always been my baobei.

It hurts me to know that I've hurt you so much.
To know that I just let you go on so many occassions.
But I'll never forget the time, when you tried your best
to protect me.
When Jac wanted to force me back to her place,
you just let her hit you time and time again,
but I couldn't let you do that.
In order to stop her from hitting you incessantly,
I just had to go back with her,
but you kept insisting in keeping me by your side.
Especially when she pushed me,
you were furious,
you slammed her down on the floor.
When you were giddy and every part of you hurt,
my heart broke.

For the first time, since so long ago,
I saw you cry again.
So bitterly,
like you felt so sorry for me.
But I chose to remain with you,
coz I love you.
But in the end, my emotions got mixed up
and there I went back with Jac again.

Now I wish to see you so much,
wish to talk to you.
Wish to cry in your arms
and tell you how I'm feeling now.
I'm feeling miserable,
so upset,
so tortured.

I used to have you around,
now I don't anymore.
You probably hate me as well.
Sigh.

Tell me what to do?

* I really don't feel like living anymore. Death, please take me away.