I'm freaking pissed with Jac.
She says I'm one cheap bitch!
Damn her!
What right has she to call me that?
Yes, she's definitely a heartless jerk.
She is.

Forget about the 10 years friendship.
I give up.
Such a person like her shouldn't even be trusted
and relied on.
She sucks big time and I am so freaking irritated
with her.
She should just get the hell out of my life.
Who does she think she is?
She will get her just desserts for all
the pain she has inflicted on me.
She will.

I don't need a person like her in my life.
She's screwed up,
she messed up my freaking damn life
and still has the bloody cheek to claim she
loves me.
Kiss my ass okay?
Over my dead body.
Even if I die, I won't wanna see that
sickening face of hers.
If I can, i will beat her up to a pulp
and give her 7 consecutive slaps
and makes sure she realises her
stupid idiotic mistakes.
Childish, ignorant, self-centered
and in self denial piece of shit!

She better scram out of my life
at this very moment,
I hard promise if I were to see her now,
I'll make sure I'll punch her damn face
till no one recognises her.

I HATE HER, OFFCIALLY - PERIOD.

Baby didn't seem himself today.
As usual, at the mention of Jac's name,
he always has that kind of expression.
It worries me,
it upsets me because I know
he's not feeling good coz of me.
Am I really such a cheap bitch?
Do I just throw myself over for sex?
Sigh.

I don't know what to do anymore,
I don't wish to leave baby,
but my presence seem to be adding
extra pressure onto him and I can't bear
to see him upset.
I want him to be happy and be comfortable
with me, but it's inevitable that my past
is haunting him.

Should I take a step back?
Should I advance?
I love baby,
but can he trust me the same way ever again?

* Tell me, if I love you, would you love me too?