WEDNESDAY

Beginning of the day was alrite.
Not much that I can recall.

I hit 60 calls and cross sold
10 card. Not very well done,
but at least manage to hit the mark.

Lunch at Chicago's Steakhouse
with DD and Maureen.
Maureen and I had Ribeye steak,
queen sized - 7 ounce.
Delicious!
Had Passion Smoothie as well.
oh gosh.
Heavenly and not forgetting,
my all time favourite,
Frsh Oysters.
My Aphrodisiac. =)

It was quite shocking to see Wenhu
sneaking up and hugging Maureen,
by the way that's her boyfriend
and I finally saw Joshua Ang in person.
Almost couldn't recognise him coz he was
too tanned. But still, he looks good. =)

After work,
Ah Nai, Bangs, Maureen and me
headed down to NYDC to have dinner with
Lena and Salad, that included Ryan as well.
( Ryan is Gen X )
I wasn't feeling well at that point of time already.
Felt giddy, felt like puking and chest hurt.
Gosh, what a time for things to happen.
I only had a mudpie for dinner.
Sick.
Embarassed myself in front of a guy,
by being so sickly.
It's worse when he's a CUTE guy.
Ryan was friendly and all, my mistake,
it was wrong to have judged him before
actually meeting him in person.
Nice and fun guy to be friends with.
I MUST ADMIT. =)

Slacked at Starbuckas after which,
was crapping and talking like nobody's business.

Cabbed home with Lena,
was talking about J.
I don't know why,
but Lena mentioned that the both of
us are just like parallel lines that would
never meet no matter how hard we try.
The way we spoke was of difference
and she said he just wasn't for me
and that I could find a better person.

Oh well,
I've enough of me believing in love.
What moving on?
Waiting and all?
It really kills me.

- Not being able to hear your voice,
- hoping for your presence,
- all these is good enough to kill me,
- seriously, when you left,
- I'm not myself anymore.
- I don't wanna scare you,
- but physically and emotionally,
- I'm already collapsing.
- I was wondering, if I died,
- would you even care?

* My dismissal, your smile.


Today was even worse.
I couldn't sleep well.
Was tossing and turning in bed
early this morning.
My body ached, the entire body,
was running a fever that warmed the entire bed,
I was crying coz it was so painful.
Felt giddy and all.
It was a nightmare.

I took Mc today.
Really had to.
Wasn't getting any better.
I didn't want my mum to know I'm sick,
for fear that she wouldn't let me club tomorrow.

So I was wondering around,
but all thanks to Chris,
I felt better.

I went over to his house to have a good sleep.
Had a full 7 hours of sleep.
It felt really good.
Didn't wanna visit the doc's coz I was just
too weak to move.
It was really nice of him to take care of me
and all.
Made sure I slept soundly and that I wasn't hurting
anywhere.
The anxious look on his face,
the way he brushed my hair and pat me to sleep,
made me wonder and got me thinking,
ever since we parted,
he has been single and he didn't found anyone.
He didn't get attached but try to ask me out
whenever he could.
I'm sure he loves me.
He reallly loves me.
But there was no turning back for us.
It's sad but true.
The love I had for him once has been kept in
the depths of my heart ever since we broke up.
I wasn't heartless, I never forgotten him at all.
He's someone special.
For the entire four years of our relationship,
I'm proud to say we did love each other alot.
This I know.
I thank him so much for everything that he's doing
for me now, coz seriously, without him,
I would have just collapsed and died on the road today.

He brought me out to have lunch,
sheltered me from the rain,
made sure I was really okay,
sent me home and all.
Gosh, look how much he's doing?

On the other hand,
I'm thinking of J.
Curse me.
I miss J so much.

- You think you knew everything.
- you think you could shrug away your respnsibilities.
- You think you could forget about everything,
- I wished I could too.
- But everytime I come back home,
- I'm reminded of you.
- My happiness are always short-lived.
- Sometimes i wish my life was as well.
- I wanna be there whenever you need somebody,
- I wished you cared,
- but all these wishes come to nothing,
- coz you're no longer here with me.

* Chris, thanks for being so sweet. -huggies-