It's been a bad day today.
Should I say days have been bad,
ever since silly boy left me.

I don't know where to start,
how to put my day's experience into words.

My mind's a blank,
I'm speechless.
I'll be dumb mummy soon.

Had like a total BIG lecture from Daisy.
Someone actually told Daisy that people
were going around taking pictures of our BIG BOSS
when he was asleep in his office.
Such a big hoo ha.
She was raising her voice at us,
like for the first time.
I didn't do anything, I was innocent,
coz I took half day on Friday.
But she kept staring at me
as if I was part of all that.
- shrugs.

She continued by telling us of our acheivements
for the call rates so far.
She said it wasn't good at all.
She said there was the commission scheme that was
coming up for us.
She thought we needed commission for motivation.
Well, commission wasn't everything.
It was the dedication on each individual's part.
I wasn't doing well these days coz there were too many
things running through my mind.

The fire that broke out at my block yesterday.
Someone was trying to SERIOUSLY kill.
I got woken up in the wee hours of the morning,
at around 2plus a.m.
I recieved so many messages from silly boy.
He wanted to tell me something,
the other reason why he chose to leave me.
I messaged him back.
Fate was kind to wake me up with the fire,
but fate was cruel to me,
coz he didn't respond to any of my messages.
OH GOSH.
PLEASE.
PLEASE.
I BEG SOMEONE.
KILL ME.

What was it that he was trying to say?
He said he didn't wanna reveal it no more.
WHY?
Why does fate have to play such a prank on me?
What have I done in my life to deserve all these?

I wanan know.
I really do.
I'm losing myself aready.

He. He. He.
All I could think of was him.
J'van. J'van. J'van.
My heart hurts real badly.
Just stop my heart from beating,
kill me.
Make it a fast one.
I can't take this no more.

He thought I didn't wanna respond to his messages.
But I was asleep.
These days, my emotions are tiring me out.
I've no energy for anything anymore.
Not even a smile.

I just hope I can improve.
Hope I can be strong.
I'm collapsing everytime I try to stand again.
What is this?
DAMN YOU, JA!

Worked till quite late.
I had nothing to do.
Nothing to look forward to.
So i just focused on work.
Just did everything to get him out of my mind.
But it doesn't help at all.
It's fruitless.

Home now.
Supposed to be eating.
But I'm not hungry.
I've no appetite.

I need a cure now.

- I hope I'm not a bother.
- I hope you won't ignore me.
- I did not and haven't even move on yet.
- Not even an inch.
- If you think I'm doing good without you,
- you're wrong,
- in fact, I'm crumbling all the time.
- I miss you.

* My cure - You.