Jac left.
Departed for the UK.

Here I am, back home again.
Still need some adjustments though.
Just feels so weird without her by my side.
Like it's said, maybe it's coz I've spent 24/7 with
her for the past 3 months, it's only natural to feel
this way.

Sighs.
It seems like I've lost everything.
Practically EVERYTHING.
Even Jac's not in Singapore now.
Who do I honestly turn to, if I needed
more than just help?

It's hard to have someone to trust and
really rely on. Isn't it?
I'm feeling a great sense of loss now.

So many thoughts, i have no idea,
which to pen down.
Although I still have my precious Dawn,
sitting right beside me now.

Everyone who was once so close to me,
has moved on with life.
Each carrying a different perspective to friendship
and love ever since I deserted them.
I feel so distant to them,
I no longer feel like I belong coz
I voluntarily withdraw from the league myself.

The consequences will be on me and I would
have to bear it, all by myself.
Come to think of it, I've been bearing pain
independently by myself.

As I type, I wonder who truly understands me.
I gave up on a sisterhood I swore to stick by.
I gave up on gems that were so hard to find these days.
I gave up on the simplicity of friendships.
I gave up on kinship and shun everyone away.
But I chose to stand by a love that I held so dearly
in the past.

Strange, how I could do all these?
It's amazing.
It's like a 180 degrees change from who I initially was.

I used to be termed Angel.
Now, I'm termed the Devil.

But how can Devils have feelings?
Enlighten me.

* I'm only human.