i don't know how to phrase how i'm feeling now.
should i type it out?

these is how i'm really feeling now.
1. depressed.
2. hurt.
3. upset.
4. frustrated.
5. numb.

all negative feelings eh?
It all results becasue of one word.
BETRAYAL.

yesterday's events will explain.
every single detail.
you know, i just don't understand.
what my parents are thinking?

is it entirely my fault?
for goodness sake.
i only went to see my baby once,
after so long.
why are you people so damn cruel?
you never put yourself into my shoes,
you always think you're right.
you know you've done so much,
with a good intention,
but you hurt me more,
than u helped me.
i really HATE you.
don't ever try hypocricy on me anymore.
i'm sick of ur double-faced.
you piss me off.
you disgusts me.
just go away okay?
never EVEr come close to me again.
this is for you,
MUMMY.

to my mum and dad:

if you knew i had this problem,
that i'll be a lesbian
and continue to be one.
you could have just let me,
die at the operating theatre when i was born.
or like what you say daddy,
give me away so that i won't bring you people trouble.
you should have done that earlier,
so now no one has to suffer.
really...
when i try to be nice,
you people stab me at the back.
this is how good people get repaid huh?
thanks alot,
but i don't think i deserve it.
just leave me alone okay?
i'm begging you.
don't start to torment me again.
i can't take it.

- baby, i really enjoyed yesterday.
- i'm really contented.
- even if it was for a short while.
- i could see where our love is going.
- it will continue to reign and
- i'm not giving up.
- so don't give up on me also okay?
- i hope u understand my situation now,
- it's not that i'm want to defy my parents,
- they are the ones now who's making,
- my life miserable.
- i love you baby.
- i seriously do.
- missing you tons.
- can i have a big hug?

* i've been trying to be good, do i deserve betrayal?