I must be nuts.
Entagled emotions, this is killing me.
I'm always blogging about my emotions.
At times, I really wish I wasn't much of a feeler.
Come to think of it, being a thinker isn't that bad.
Doesn't matter if you're insensitive, you'd be forgiven.
Doesn't matter if you come across as rude, you're just stating facts.
Doesn't matter if you get emotional, you can easily brush it off.
My life has always been in a mess.
This sucks.
I'm 23 this year and I don't even know what I'm doing.
The resolutions are just for keeps sake.
Just when I set my mind or my heart on something,
it just doesn't turn out the way I hope it would.
Be it work, friends or relationships.
All the important factors in my life are slowly tearing
me up into pieces,
driving me to a corner of no return.
Breaking free could be the only option,
but what difference does it make?
My mind and my heart can never come to an understanding.
The heart speaks a language, the mind another.
Feels like having a Korean speaking to an African.
No link and nothing's in sync.
It gets really frustrating to just bottle up everything.
I've locked all my emotions and my thoughts within me.
It's like popcorn wanting to burst out of the pot to be acknowledged
and eaten.
At least someone would appreciate it.
The world is really unfair and fate has really been cruel.
I just wish I can stall time, back to where all my happy moments were.
A time machine would be perfect.
I could travel through memories and reminisce the moments.
Feeling the excitement, the love, the joy and the laughters.
I would gladly accept that invitation to feel once more.
Numb or jaded as most people would say,
results only when you're completely devastated or have lost faith
in a particular matter.
Giving up is something I've never learnt to do and I don't intend to.
The odds are so tempting, yet I refuse to throw in the white flag.
Maybe if my heart and mind could work together some day,
I would definitely have the answers to all my burning questions.
I could even end up in a fairy-tale, just like those childhood stories.
Concluding with a happy ending.
Guess that's just wishful thinking on my part.
I wanna just close the chapter of misery and move on.
What's the point of crying, when the perosn you hope
to see, doesn't sense it?
What's the point of being upset and disappointed,
when you know it's all over?
Curtains down, music fades, dance vanishes.
I'm alll alone, back to where I was.
Square one.
I tap myself on my shoulders,
it's all a dream.
I just happen to wake up too early.
What could the ending be?
No one knows.
Let me have a peek, at least it'll prove that my choice was right.
* You. All I see is an I now.