It has come to a point whereby I'm beginning
to believe that 2009 may be the year for me.

Just yesterday, my doubts, my worries were
all cleared.
The Libidos had a gathering and every single
one of us were there.

Haha, to start the day, I actually overslept.
I set my alarm at 9.30am, but guess what?
I ended up waking in a sleepy stupor at around 12.35pm.
I got a shock of my life.
I jumped out of bed and quickly informed Cathy
that I was gonna be late and hurriedly bathe.

While rushing over to Mel's place,
I dropped by 7-eleven to get clorets.
By the time I went over, cow and mel
were playing soccer in his house.
Cathy was lazing around and Jer
was happily eating his waffle and drinking
his milo. HAH.

After which we proceeded to Mel's room
for some really serious talk.
We all just decided to trash things out
and to place this precious friendship right
back to the way it was initially.

I learnt alot about the hurt I had inflicted
on them.
Especially for Mel.
I made him crumble, I broke him.
I could never imagine hurting the
person who knew and understood me
so well.
I felt shame.

Honestly, I realise the importance I
had in every Libidolian's life.
Not to mention, Cathy may be the
stronger person, but I affected her
very badly too.
It dawned on me that friends could
really be the pillars of your life,
when you have no one to turn to
or when your bloody relationship's
in a mess.

To tell you the truth,
the Libidolians are friends
I would never wanna abandon again.
That includes 2 more very important
friends as well.
Zy and carolyn.
My secondary school friends that I was
so close to.

I'm sorry for everything, everyone.

I made baby angry again.
At certain times, I feel very useless.
Making baby wait all the time,
he's becoming tired of this
'I'm waiting, you're running' process.
He said I was testing his patience,
this did not sound good at all.

I really do not wish to lose him
once again.
I know it was my fault for abandoning
him twice whereas he was just faithfully
waiting and loving me all these while.
He really made efforts to change
and I could clearly see that.

Our relationship has come to a point
whereby baby might just have enough
of my nonsense and just leave.
Having to see him turn his back on me
and walking away would be the worst
that could ever happen.

I can never imagine that happening,
coz if that really happens,
I'll be at a loss.

Oh, someone. Save me.

* Completely clueless, but I do love you.