nic-

this message is specially fer you.
i hope u understand.
i'm not trying to put the blame on u fer everything.
but do u noe how stressful it gets?
i noe i'm in the wrong.
i shouldn't haf shouted at you.
dragged on you.
it's not right.
i solely apologise [ i'm really very sorry]
i noe no matter how many sorries i say,
things will never be the same agn.
dun think tt u're the only one huz hurt.
i din mean to put u into such a position.
but i really detests the way u view me nw.
now i finally realise sumthing..
u never accepted me the way i am.
i am a lesbian.
but u nia accept it.
u always want me to turn str8 n look fer guys.
but let me tell u sumthing str8 n clear here.
i will never turn str8 coz of u or my parents.
i believe i haf the right to choose.
i love chir s alot,
n no matter what any of u do,
i'm gonna stick by chris always.
i hope u get tt str8.
i seriuosly get pissed off by u,
when u made tt statement.
dun detests the lesbians in the world.
coz u really haf no right to do so.
i noe our friendship could haf been gone by now.
but no worries,
i dun wish to bother u anymore.
n i wun let my mum call u agn..how abt tt?
u always screw things up fer me.
y cant u just say u dunno anything fer once?
do u noe tt u always provide information to my mother.
so tt she can check on me.
YOU are the one...
i'm sorry to say tt..
i dun hate u..
i just dun understand y u detests lesbianism..

- mum

i HATE it when u check on me.
i HATE it when u pretend that nothing happened.
i HATE it when u treat me so nice,when behind my back u do awful things.

i'm a big girl now.
i noe how to manage.
i've been coming home earlier den last time.
y dun u trust me?
n gif me another chance.
what hurts me most is not u checking on me.
but itz coz YOU CANNOT accept the fact that i'm a lesbian.
YOU will NEVER accpet me for who i am..

`ja's totally disappointed and upset.

- hopes to drift back to the time when i was a baby...
no troubles at all............. -