Yesterday was considered
not too bad.
hah.
There's a reason why i
came up with such a statement.

I left the house at around 12noon.
Cabbed down to baby's place.
Poor baby, was all tired out.
Didn't have much sleep though.

Bought a horoscope book for him.
Surprised him with it,
fortunately he liked it. haha.
Coz i didn't even know if it was the correct one.
My chinese is atrocious.
I didn't know what was the content of it,
but when i saw that it was related to his horoscope,
i just grabbed it. lol.

Silly me.
Brought a can of processed chowder
to his house.
I thought of letting him sample something different.
Always the same old stuff,
it's really boring,
sometimes making eating such a chore.

We wtached television.
Hilarious taiwan variety show.
Laughed my ass off. =p
Boiled the chowder for him
and yes fed my dear lover boy.

It was really enriching reading the
horoscope book.
We were practically diasgreeing to many stuffs,
but i was agreeing to most of it though.

After which, we headed for Marina Square.
I so badly needed to get a good bag for myself.
so i decided on the new Puma bag.
Gorgeous i must say. =)

Before that we were at the Esplanade,
and i tell you.
It was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L.
The scenery, the sky, the stars.
my gosh.
i felt like i was floating on cloud 9.

Everything felt so right,
so in place.
Even if i wasn't in a realistic world,
just let it be.
i embrace every moment of it.

We met xp and hazel later,
sort of shopped.
window shopping i should say. =)
Had dinner at Makansutra.
oh. yes!
yummy! but unfortunately,
my mouth still wasn't that functional. lol.

Took such a LONG time to chew on my food.
I seriously think i look like
a born Comedian.
Baby, xp and Hazel were laughing like crazy
coz of my silly actions.
hah.
I think i should enrol in ACT 3 soon. =)

Having our fill, we headed for the sea side,
it was near esplanade.
All the sitting places there,
where you can view all the different buildings.
Short ones, Medium ones and Tall ones. -sweet.

Being the usual convent girls,
xp and me began taking pictures
with Hazel's digicam.
Oh goodness, once we started,
we just couldn't stop. lol.
From poses to poses, i pity her cam.
Xp ; you're just soooo cute!
can i pinch your cheeks?
don't worry, ya still loved. =)

Then we went up to the roof terrace.
i remember that place,
coz i've been there with the Libidos.
-ponders.
it was truly memorable.
but with baby, it was a whole load
of feelings.

We just sat down there and gazed at the stars,
his eyes so mesmerising,
the stars sparklng so bright.
i just couldn't ask for more.
I wished time would just stop.
Watching him lying on my lap,
his embrace fills me with such warmness,
i don't even feel like letting go of him.

But soon, it was time to head back.
For at the other side of the country,
my house was in a mess.
As usual.
No qualms about it.

I came back,
and as usual.
Got the scolding.
The lectures.

I'm sick.
Sick.
SIck.
SICk.
SICK of it.

I need a life.
Give me a break.
Leave me alone.

And FINE.
If you wanna hurt me,
just go ahead.
Go and compare me with all
you FRIENDS
WONDERFUL and PERFECT teenage kids.
Coz seriously,
i don't give a Damn anymore.

I've considered how you feel.
I've put myself in your positions.
I did feel remorseful.
I did what i can to make it alot easier.
But my efforts prove futile.

I'm tired of trying to understand.
I'm tired of always giving in.
I'm tired of being the daughter you want me to be.
I'm just tired already.
I don't even have an ounce of energy left.

I was NEVEr once selfish.
Just this once and i'm
condemned.

Sometimes i wish,
i was just alone
in a dark secluded room.
Just me and my shadow,
leaning against each other for comfort.

// Amidst all my pain,
// i still have my joy.
// Thank goodness,
// i still have you.
// I really enjoyed yesterday very much. =)
// I love you so much. <3

* slash my wrist, stab me. you'd see that i don't bleed anymore.