this is my first entry of 2006.
how's that?
hah.

it started out pretty fine,
but it couldn't have been worse.
a brand new year.
a fresh new start.

i made a few resolutions
and i'm going to stand by them.

even it takes alot of ocurage to do it.

i couldn't see myself in the future,
but at least i'm slowly
getting to where i want to be.

a part of me has gone missing,
it just doesn't feel right anymore.

the truth is,
i can't take this no more.

i often wondered,
if you'd feel the same.

i often wondered,
if you'd lie down on the bed
and think about me,
just like the way i think about you.

i often wondered,
if you still love me,
the way i love you.

i can't help but ponder,
all these thoughts
don't help to surpress my emotions,
but at least it keeps me going.

i'm not suppose to get all sad here,
all emotional
and puttng you in a spot
if you're reading this.

i don't care what you'll think,
or what others will think.
i just want you to know how i feel.

how i feel may not bother you,
coz at least i know you're happy.
but the past just holds too much
memories, it's leaking through my veins,
i feel it's embracing me
and i succumb to it,
every single time,
with bended knees,
just like a lil girl,
lost in the woods,
wanting so bad
to find her way out,
i fall time and again,
just waiting for a miracle
to happen.

i'm not proving to be noble,
for you to pity me,
or let people sympathise
or empathise with me,
this wonderful diary
of mine,
is the only source
of comfort i get,
when i type everything i feel
into it.

* what choice am i left with, every single time you leave me?