there are many thoughts
running through my head consistently.

i think abt my family,
my baby,
the Libidos,
my clique,
my confidantes,
my other friends,
God
and even my enemies.

loads of people to think about.
loads of people to thank,
for always being there me
and standing by me
through thick and thin.

imagine how much the human brain
can actually absorb,
so many things to remember,
the past,
the present
and i have to even think about the future.

i am who i am,
i live the way it is.
yes, i'm a useless catholic.
i commit a very GRAVE sin,
everyday,
that's me being a lesbian.

i know very well,
that at the end of my life,
when i go up and meet god,
my fate is already sealed.
i'm going right down to hell.
that's for sure.
no doubts about it.

i go to church
and receive the holy eucharist,
but yet i'm doing all these
hypocricy acts.
i deserve to die.
i repent every sunday,
hoping to get god's understanding.

i don't expect him to forgive me,
coz it's just too much to bear.
i just hope he understands,
the love i feel towards my baby.
i'm deeply in love with my baby,
without him, i can't live.

i'm sure god understands,
the special bonding we have,
the love so strong,
that it's unbreakable.

i'm willing to face the future
and bear any consequences,
punish me lord,
but don't condemn me
just coz i feel in love with a girl.

that's all i'm asking for.

i reflected on my lifestyle
and still i came to this conclusion.
i'm sure all of u out there,
will support me and respect
my utmost decision.

but if you don't,
and never liked me this way,
i apologise.
i can't be your friend,
coz if i was, i'd bring insecurity to you.
i don't want you to be associating with an outcast.
sorry.

* i love my baby, nothing and no one will change this fact. i live up to this statement.